yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Randomize
