First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I forgot wine drunk hurts
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