Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Screwed.edu
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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