My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
