can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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