I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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