Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
