also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
