these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
