Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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