Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
