i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
