Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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