So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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