Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
