Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
