im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
