Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
