I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
My vagina is very pro this idea
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
