the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
