Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Help. Why am I so naked?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
