Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
