a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
