even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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