what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
