She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
