so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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