after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
