I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize