Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
