Kiss
Puke
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
