Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
