Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
