i was born a porn star she said
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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