I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
