What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
