I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
