I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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