Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
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