So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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