So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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