Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
