Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
