i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
