Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
