i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize