We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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