Its about making memories worth repressing
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
So much rum. So many feels.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
