you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
