You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
