shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
